tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post5653495157223420178..comments2024-01-05T21:32:49.346-08:00Comments on Living with PMDD: The Voices of PMDD: Sharing our Struggles Liana at livingwithpmdd.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-80100194546464156262019-04-21T08:50:49.346-07:002019-04-21T08:50:49.346-07:00I've been calling it "IT". IT awakes...I've been calling it "IT". IT awakes in my brain and body. IT (tries to) control my thoughts and perceptions - everyone becomes a threat to IT. IT hurts me - migraines, leg pain, all over body and mind pain. IT refuses to give me enough oxygen, making me sooooooo tired and yawny, lightheaded, brain foggy, can't make the simplest choice like tea or coffee, can't find my words. IT paralizes me - can't move, like lead in my veins. IT is a free for all between neurotransmitters and receptors. Electric brain storm. IT has fun opening and closing the wrong receptors to the wrong transmitters. Or plainly shutting them down, leaving me to survive on animal instinct. Fight or flight. IT goes into a histamine attack - sneeze, freeze, fever. Then IT falls into my uterus where IT feels like an alien screaming and fighting destruction and expulsion. Thank God IT is expelled with the pain. Bloody alien out you go! IT is finally gone. Another IT wants to reproduce, more leg pain and fatigue. Two IT's per month. Exhausting. In between, ME catching up on work and house chores, family and friendships, good food, sleep, exercice habits. Reimerging. Realizing the damage IT left behind if IT won the battle that month. A lost job, friend boyfriend, parent... 35 years of this roller-coaster. Will IT really go away with menopause? C : hantal https://www.blogger.com/profile/09935673558825003059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-51001271789659442052018-05-11T09:11:35.372-07:002018-05-11T09:11:35.372-07:00Wow thank for th it s post. I'm not alone afte...Wow thank for th it s post. I'm not alone after all. Omg! You described me to the T. At least you have a husband though. The sex part is rough. I'm divorced. I've accomplished so much glory to God, but I still feel so unfulfilled and alone. I hate this disease. I hate Agatha. She's such a fucking bitch.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-91473991290093217652018-05-08T12:23:43.757-07:002018-05-08T12:23:43.757-07:00Now I'm starting to think of a name. I guess i...Now I'm starting to think of a name. I guess it should be something ghastly, because that's just how "she" is. I can really relate with all the negative stuff to hit you from the past. I feel like how am I supposed to move forward if everything from the past keeps rearing it's ugly head every single month! Yes I already know I made terrible decisions while being "her" and I try every chance to be better. Maybe this is why one therapist thought I was bipolar. It almost seems like so because you are living two separate live. Problem with that is ...well...there are so many things wrong with that. There is a disconnect from loved ones, no one understand why I can't keep a job. Me I can, but my PMDD chick just can't. When she gets in the driver's seat she just quits everything that I've been working on. She sits at my computer and pressed delete to everything. Then I'm left feeling embarrassed and having to apologize. I even think that she decided to get married, had an affair, also aborted a child and screamed at everyone. I came back to and was devastated. Now I must live this life. Half of it seems like a dream since a lot of it seemed like choices I didn't make. I know this is a lot, but I probably need to take whatever med I need to because the more I can lessen her strength the better. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-14659911334639899592018-04-25T18:25:22.195-07:002018-04-25T18:25:22.195-07:00I feel your pain...pmdd sucks. would love to kill ...I feel your pain...pmdd sucks. would love to kill it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-70346902866714638012018-04-18T19:57:26.647-07:002018-04-18T19:57:26.647-07:00Thank you for sharing this. I've also named my...Thank you for sharing this. I've also named my pmdd, Helga. My husband doesn't understand the benefit of naming her but I'm hoping it will help me with the monthly battle. Desertjeepnoreply@blogger.com