tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post8855798121452017810..comments2024-01-05T21:32:49.346-08:00Comments on Living with PMDD: PMDD Wars: Supportive Partners, Women in DenialLiana at livingwithpmdd.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-64632356895930836372014-02-24T16:38:29.330-08:002014-02-24T16:38:29.330-08:00Thanks Liana, I will reread those articles and wri...Thanks Liana, I will reread those articles and write down the aspects I find useful. I have spent countless hours already sifting through all your posts and the replies. I am aware now that I am not alone in this struggle just when I felt like no one knew what I was even talking about!! CreativeMindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09626952804387741848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-58262291547682010412014-02-23T09:59:26.339-08:002014-02-23T09:59:26.339-08:00Hi there, Creative Mind, Can I ask you to email me...Hi there, Creative Mind, Can I ask you to email me at info (at) livingwithpmdd (dot) com? I can whip out an email a lot faster than I can a blog post, and I was planning to answer your question in a blog post, but not right away. (I have three others I need to finish first, ones I have been promising for months, even a year or more.) So, while I would be more than happy to offer suggestions one on one, I can't get to your answer fast enough here on the blog. In the meantime, did you read my post The Other Side of PMDD, Continued? http://livingonaprayerwithpmdd.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-other-side-of-pmdd-continued.html<br />In that post there are also links to two other posts regarding the same topic. Those are called They Only See Our Failures and It's Not Personal, It's Just Your PMDD. I think there may be enough hints in those posts to get you started! (This is what I mean by it will take me a while to answer you in a blog post, because the first thing I would do is go back and read the three I just mentioned, maybe even more related posts, and see what I already said, so that I don't reinvent the wheel and repeat myself.) Anyway, start there and then email me with any specific questions you might have. There is an autoresponse you will get first, but I will then answer within a day or so. You can also click on any word in the sidebar that you may want to read more about, for instance, irritability, or anger, or whatever, and a listing of all posts dealing with that subject will appear. Thank you so much for your interest and comments, and I look forward to hearing from you when you get a chance... I have other resources I can mention, that might be more specific to your situation. Blessings, LianaLiana at livingwithpmdd.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-85601031826457149952014-02-22T17:11:51.244-08:002014-02-22T17:11:51.244-08:00Thank you Liana, I am awaiting your response. I d...Thank you Liana, I am awaiting your response. I did feel very irritable today, and I feel I was able to take a step back, breathe, and tell myself "I am not my PMDD, it is not controlling me, I can do this" maybe 50 times, but it worked. However, today is not one of those "bad" days. I am an educated woman, a teacher with a masters degree, and I still can't step back and say, "ok, you have to stop" in those moments. Then, I try to apologize when things have gotten out of hand, and of course, my partner does not want to be around me and that hurts. The clingy "I want, I want, I want" and "I need, I need, I need" kicks in and it is so difficult in those moments. Thanks for your reply and I look forward to your response. :)<br />CreativeMindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09626952804387741848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-26102065468413820212014-02-22T10:24:18.134-08:002014-02-22T10:24:18.134-08:00That is a great idea/question. I am going to thin... That is a great idea/question. I am going to think this through and see what I come up with, but my first response is to practice "awareness," especially when you are not PMDDing, so that you have a better sense of what is coming on and when. It still takes me by surprise quite often, and the first sign I see of it is the startled look on a family member's face. If you practice when you are NOT PMDDing, it's a bit easier to fall into the groove when you are. As in practice makes perfect. Well, in this case, practice helps us to catch ourselves before we lose control. I also have to remind myself to 'take nothing personal." I just repeat in my head "That's the PMDD talking, not me, that's the PMDD talking, not me..." <br /><br />More on this later, once I've had a chance to really think about it.<br />Liana at livingwithpmdd.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-24465446595336588872014-02-21T23:21:34.414-08:002014-02-21T23:21:34.414-08:00Liana, you have just explained the beginning of an...Liana, you have just explained the beginning of an episode in a nutshell (no pun intended here). I am still learning to walk away from my boyfriend when the pmdd urge comes on. All I ever feel like I want in that moment is to be held, and of course, we can never force our partners into doing that when they are not expecting an episode or just doing their own thing. I have been working so hard to try and walk away before the arguments start, but I am still having such a difficult time even though I love my boyfriend so much and do not want to fight with him. I am still having a difficult time telling myself that I am having an episode and I need to walk away. I had a moment yesterday afternoon (my period is late and I feel I am still not in the clear) when I wanted something so bad that I blamed my boyfriend when it was not around, it is such a terrible thing that happens. I love him so much every day of the month and then these days happen and I feel like I can throw our entire love away at the drop of a hat! Then I step back and reflect, and realize how messed up I had been and how completely out of sorts I was. I would like some pointers on how to step back in those moments as I am still having such a difficult time. CreativeMindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09626952804387741848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-53890823727718195052013-04-19T17:44:51.572-07:002013-04-19T17:44:51.572-07:00And another group at The Experience Project for me...And another group at The Experience Project for men. I'm going to add these links to the sidebar to your right....Liana at livingwithpmdd.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-26426502478758442992013-04-19T17:32:59.983-07:002013-04-19T17:32:59.983-07:00Hello, and thank you for writing! Regarding a for...Hello, and thank you for writing! Regarding a forum for men, you might try one of these over at mdjunction for starters...<br />http://www.mdjunction.com/pre-menstrual-syndrome. There is also a group called Living With Her PMDD on Facebook you could join. It's a group for those with a loved one who has PMDD.Liana at livingwithpmdd.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-25223464956388442682013-04-19T16:45:56.735-07:002013-04-19T16:45:56.735-07:00As a guy on the other end of it, I can totally rel...As a guy on the other end of it, I can totally relate to what you are talking about. I love my sweetheart so much and 3 weeks a month she is my best friend, my lover and my soulmate. We do everything together and enjoy it! But for 72 hours (sometimes longer) every 28 days, we are totally 100% incompatible according to her. She picks everything to death and finds massive faults in our relationship which strangely did not exist even a few hours prior. She literally "beats the snot out of me" emotionally and verbally. All the while, she's everyone else's Best Friend and I'm the devil. It feels like she hates me and Italy's me want to retaliate. Sometimes I do--always verbally or by text, however engaging in any type of argument is a futile effort. No amount of yelling, logic, sweetness or leaving her alone is good enough. Getting in my car and staying at a friends house till it blows over makes it even worse. It seems like a total lose/lose situation. I do not know who this woman is that appears out of the blue, but almost always on schedule. It makes me want to leave her, but I love her too much to go. <br />Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. <br />Finally, where is a forum where guys who are going through this can support each other? A forum like that would be most useful. This illness is no joke and it affects the men as bad as it affects the women we love. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-51891348967704382182013-02-20T03:20:15.739-08:002013-02-20T03:20:15.739-08:00I think it's quite normal for a PMDD woman to ...I think it's quite normal for a PMDD woman to 'hold it together' outside the home and family if she really works at it, but the strain and drain of doing so will then result in a backlash at the people closest to her, the people who are supposed to love her no matter what. Not saying that you don't -- just saying this is how our minds work. On some level, we feel safe with those closest to us, and therefore they get the worst of our moods. Your fourth paragraph, where you describe the poking and comparisons, and thinking everyone else has it better, are totally typical. I know that doesn't help much, but you're pretty much describing classic symptoms. You've got to both work on not being pulled into the argument. If she's not actively working at it, an argument will result. I usually find that at the first sign of snapping at my family, it's time to go into a room by myself and stay there until the feeling passes. There's no other way around it, because if I stay, somebody's feelings are going to get shredded. Liana at livingwithpmdd.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04527230725501073923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-27822411373401452062013-02-19T09:38:17.613-08:002013-02-19T09:38:17.613-08:00Thank you so much for this Blog!
I am dealing w...Thank you so much for this Blog! <br /><br />I am dealing with the "Day After" results of a HUGE blow-up last night. I/we are open about my Wife's PMDD, and when it gets to that general time of month, I do make an effort to be understanding... to avoid being pulled into the arguement she's wanting to have.<br /><br />My biggest curiosity is this: She seems to be perfectly fine when around others? She will be her normal, cheery self. She will have a good time, and then once the other people are gone... well, that's when I typically feel blind-sided by it.<br /><br />Is this normal? Many of your posts talk about the woman needing to be alone, or avoiding anything social... in this case, it seems that she is completely normal in a social or public situation. <br /><br />An example, is that afterwards she will maybe make note of a specific couple, and something they recently did, etc. She will then start (mildly at first) to poke her finger at our relationship... making a lot of unfavorable comparisons, and basically begin to devalue anything and everything having to do with "our" life... while observing that everybody else has it so much better.<br /><br />I can deal with the PMDD for the most part, but it's the mental-confusion that I feel after she essentially thrashes the very relationship that just 2 days earlier, she was so thankful for.<br /><br />Thanks for your thoughts.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7780625537812809359.post-62199434432331486632013-01-23T18:11:06.104-08:002013-01-23T18:11:06.104-08:00Thank you for your story. I am currently entering ...Thank you for your story. I am currently entering my usual two weeks before my period (nicknamed shark week for obvious PMDD sharkiness) and I'm feeling very low, inside my own head, blaming myself and have been picking fights for a couple weeks at least. I was sick during my period last month and it through off everything, so my hormones have been crazy making most of the week like PMDD lite. I found your blog awhile ago and today after talking with a friend felt the need to visit again. Your story helped me realize what I've been doing and how to put them at bay, at least for a little while. <br />I've been on Yaz for almost a year but I don't think it's really helping. I'm hesitant to start a different drug, like anti-depressants but I get really stuck in my head in addition to a ton of other feelings including crying at least once a week. It's crazy and you know that, I just wanted to thank you for this blog and your personal stories, they help me a lot.Jessihttps://twitter.com/j_addictnoreply@blogger.com