dear Liana, to say you and your blog have been of immense help to me is an understanding, having said that I have a question for you....since my issues started closed to 10 years ago, the symptoms and thoughts were so persistent that I concluded that it was the real me, the only opposition to that conclusion is that I had been 39 years NOT! being that crazy person I seemed to have become, that logic was my only hope, in your post, either you or one of your guest bloggers stated that they had been living with PMDD (which is pretty much behavioral in essence) for 40 years!. My question is, how do you or anyone else fight something that have been with them most of their lives and think, "this is not me" this is something else" what if (playing devil advocate's) that person that shows during PMDD episodes IS! the real us...how to do you talk your self into thinking that bitch! that has shown up for 40 years it is not the real me? I would love to hear your take and everyone else's on that question , maybe cause my head is finally screwing with me...or not. Who says the bitch, the overreactive, the hypersensitive one is not the real us? please throw anything my way, you already know you got my appreciation and eternal thanks for having created this forum Thanks T
I was so unhappy in my relationship with my ex, my PMDD was at its absolute worst, I struggled with anxiety, depression, suicideology, negative self-image, and so on. The relationship I had with myself and the relationship I had with my ex left me feeling empty, angry, hostile, and unbelievably sad. When my relationship ended six months ago I had a unique opportunity to focus solely on myself. The first few months were hard, but the last couple have been pretty good. My PMDD is a small part of who I am and the monthly symptoms don't have the same hold on me. My depression is gone, I'm starting to feel like I can do just about anything. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have the power to rebuild yourself, you just need an opportunity, and if ones doesn't come your way, you must create it. You are worth so much more than you could ever dream of. You are a good person, with a beautiful soul, you're just lost right now. When you are finally found, you will see what a brilliant light you really are. Lots of love to you.
Hello, T, and welcome back :). You have asked an excellent question, one that would take me a full blog post to answer, and I will, but that will take some time. In the meantime, the short answer is as follows: I don't know where I first read this, but it has always stuck with me, and has been especially helpful in regard to my PMDD. For many years I fed the wrong wolf. Now, I feed the good one, and through practice, doing so has become second nature. I never for a minute forget that the other wolf exists and lies in wait. But she is not me.
A Cherokee Legend
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego." He continued, "The other is good - He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
"I am what I am" from Gloria Gaynor popped into my head this morning. And just yesterday at group therapy one person was telling the story about the two wolves inside us. Both make/made me aware that it is really up to me to define who is the real me. I am a woman with an incurable illness. This I cannot change, but it is my decision to manage the symptoms as good as possible. I did a lot of thinking during the last five months. The real me is a combination with ups and downs, good and bad sides, sad and happy moods, loving gestures and angry outbursts, independent and being dependent, wise mind and being irrational - it's all about balance. Neither extreme is the real me. I am an ESFJ, Type A person, Color Code Red, Numerology number 7, Empath. I accept who I am - it's me.
dear Liana, to say you and your blog have been of immense help to me is an understanding, having said that I have a question for you....since my issues started closed to 10 years ago, the symptoms and thoughts were so persistent that I concluded that it was the real me, the only opposition to that conclusion is that I had been 39 years NOT! being that crazy person I seemed to have become, that logic was my only hope, in your post, either you or one of your guest bloggers stated that they had been living with PMDD (which is pretty much behavioral in essence) for 40 years!. My question is, how do you or anyone else fight something that have been with them most of their lives and think, "this is not me" this is something else" what if (playing devil advocate's) that person that shows during PMDD episodes IS! the real us...how to do you talk your self into thinking that bitch! that has shown up for 40 years it is not the real me? I would love to hear your take and everyone else's on that question , maybe cause my head is finally screwing with me...or not. Who says the bitch, the overreactive, the hypersensitive one is not the real us?
ReplyDeleteplease throw anything my way, you already know you got my appreciation and eternal thanks for having created this forum
Thanks
T
I was so unhappy in my relationship with my ex, my PMDD was at its absolute worst, I struggled with anxiety, depression, suicideology, negative self-image, and so on. The relationship I had with myself and the relationship I had with my ex left me feeling empty, angry, hostile, and unbelievably sad. When my relationship ended six months ago I had a unique opportunity to focus solely on myself. The first few months were hard, but the last couple have been pretty good. My PMDD is a small part of who I am and the monthly symptoms don't have the same hold on me. My depression is gone, I'm starting to feel like I can do just about anything. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have the power to rebuild yourself, you just need an opportunity, and if ones doesn't come your way, you must create it. You are worth so much more than you could ever dream of. You are a good person, with a beautiful soul, you're just lost right now. When you are finally found, you will see what a brilliant light you really are. Lots of love to you.
DeleteWhat was it about your last relationship that left you feeling empty, angry, hostile, and sad?
DeleteHello, T, and welcome back :). You have asked an excellent question, one that would take me a full blog post to answer, and I will, but that will take some time. In the meantime, the short answer is as follows: I don't know where I first read this, but it has always stuck with me, and has been especially helpful in regard to my PMDD. For many years I fed the wrong wolf. Now, I feed the good one, and through practice, doing so has become second nature. I never for a minute forget that the other wolf exists and lies in wait. But she is not me.
ReplyDeleteA Cherokee Legend
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego." He continued, "The other is good - He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
These parables are lovely, but my simple response is the real you is the one before Ovulation. X
ReplyDeletecaroline,
DeleteI appreciate so much the simplicity of your answer, but how do you know for sure you are not the after?
Thank you
T
"I am what I am" from Gloria Gaynor popped into my head this morning. And just yesterday at group therapy one person was telling the story about the two wolves inside us. Both make/made me aware that it is really up to me to define who is the real me. I am a woman with an incurable illness. This I cannot change, but it is my decision to manage the symptoms as good as possible. I did a lot of thinking during the last five months. The real me is a combination with ups and downs, good and bad sides, sad and happy moods, loving gestures and angry outbursts, independent and being dependent, wise mind and being irrational - it's all about balance. Neither extreme is the real me. I am an ESFJ, Type A person, Color Code Red, Numerology number 7, Empath. I accept who I am - it's me.
ReplyDeleteKerrie Smyres' Blog "http://www.thedailyheadache.com/about" was and still is a great inspiration for me.
ReplyDelete