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~Seek first to understand, then be understood~
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I have a "friend" who shows up once a month. She turns my world upside down, over and over again.
I am a good person, caring and sweet, but when she comes to visit, I could rip off your head.
She takes no prisoners, foul words she does spout, I try to keep the words in, she lets them come out.
People don't understand me, or what this is about, to have this creature inside my head.
I despise who I am, half of the time, I feel sorry for my daughter, family and friends.
There's no way to describe it, for those who don't know, it's a living nightmare, she really needs to go.
~Neysia Manor, Rest in Peace

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Living with PMDD - Realize, Relief, Repeat

REALIZE, RELIEF, REPEAT
[Living With PMDD]
By: Danni Hanna
When you REALIZE it’s time, it’s already too late
Being engulfed in its flame is always your fate
Depression sets in.. in its bi monthly routine
Next comes the anxiety and the fatigue
Panic attacks make their appearance
And the joys in life make their disappearance
Suicidal thoughts fill your brain
But you know soon enough you’ll be off this train
The train runs on an endless track
Circling, circling, circling back
Exercise, medication, eating right
Won’t help you win this fight
Two weeks free, two weeks trapped
Two separate identities on constant relapse
One identity starving for control
The other is on an easy stroll
Career and relationship changes fill the void of sleepless nights
But freedom is coming into sight
The day of RELIEF has arrived
As per usual, right on time
An exchange of pain occurs in an instant
From mental to physical, it’s always consistent
Anxiety and depression leave your side
Feelings of comfort and amusement fill your mind
Quickly forgetting the two weeks of hell
You become trapped within its spell
You never seek help
Because this is the best you’ve ever felt
Unaware you’re still riding the train
Two weeks pass by and the hormones enter your brain
Once again the exchange has been made
Those joyous feelings briskly fade
So go ahead and take a seat
The journey of this train is about to REPEAT
Posted by Liana at livingwithpmdd.com at 1/18/2018
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7 comments:

  1. UnknownJanuary 30, 2018 at 8:14 AM

    Wow...that is me. I'm on that train. I'm 46 and spend 2 weeks running from my family, my life and 2 weeks trying ti get back to them. I want off.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 31, 2018 at 5:37 AM

    This is a beautiful description of the most ugly thing in my life. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. caitlinjessicamFebruary 12, 2018 at 4:02 PM

    Thank you for so accurately capturing the constant fight to find balance and strength to get through this every month.

    ReplyDelete
  4. caitlinjessicamFebruary 12, 2018 at 4:06 PM

    You truly captured how difficult this monthly fight is. Its systemic torture. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMarch 2, 2018 at 5:51 PM

    I am so glad I now know what it is Ive battled for so many years. Ive been diagnosed as bipolar even though I tried to explain to doctors that it was only around that time of the month. It feels so isolating and often times Im apologizing to my friends and family for freaking out and acting crazy. Its so hard to explain to people that dont deal with it, how your brain literally changes. Your perspective is so off. I hate that I have to plan my life around it. 5HTP takes the edge off but some months I feel like im drowning in it. This poem describes it soooo well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 25, 2018 at 9:02 AM

    Describes it so well. Finally there are people who understand.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownMay 13, 2018 at 3:44 PM

    I’m in tears, obviously other women go through this hellacious ordeal every two weeks too, it’s awful. I’m bipolar 1 with this added on, keeping my life on track is the ultimate task while my body feels like it’s riddled with cancer, my bones actually hurt.

    ReplyDelete

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