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~Seek first to understand, then be understood~
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I have a "friend" who shows up once a month. She turns my world upside down, over and over again.
I am a good person, caring and sweet, but when she comes to visit, I could rip off your head.
She takes no prisoners, foul words she does spout, I try to keep the words in, she lets them come out.
People don't understand me, or what this is about, to have this creature inside my head.
I despise who I am, half of the time, I feel sorry for my daughter, family and friends.
There's no way to describe it, for those who don't know, it's a living nightmare, she really needs to go.
~Neysia Manor, Rest in Peace

Sunday, August 26, 2018

PMDD and Self-Awareness - What Has Your PMDD Taught You?

Today's post is an insightful guest post that describes a journey of self-awareness.  I have long said that self-awareness (and then self-acceptance) is the key to mastering your PMDD. You know yourself better than anyone else does.  Take the time to get to know you, and learn to be your own best friend. Not a moment of that will be wasted, because doing so will bring you many steps closer to wellness.  Get to know who you are on good days and bad days.  Learn to love and accept all of you.  For me, personally, the results were life changing.  I learned to focus on my strengths, and, on days when I could not be anything resembling strong, to focus on my needs. My guest today shares the difference it has made in her life, and in the comments we both hope you will share what you have learned about yourself through your PMDD.

Ladies here is what I have learned about my PMDD, or what PMDD means for me:

1) Low tolerance for fake and false people.
2) Hate lies and lying.
3) Low tolerance for people pleasers.
4) We are super intuitive and creative (could be blocked).
5) Don’t push me or have me multi-task above the pressure I put on myself.
One thing I am grateful for is PMDD has allowed me to get to know all of me, the good, the bad, the ugly. Yes, I am super loving and passionate and I can get super irritated and angry as well especially if I feel sarcasm, slimy, abusive, inauthentic, people pleasing, shifty behavior.  Also, to the ‘super smiley-my life- is-perfect people’ - I don’t buy it one single bit.
I am glad that I know my rage, I know her well.
I know my grief, I get down on my knees and weep.
I know my sexy bad ass, she can be sensual AF.
I don’t want to be around fake people or people pleasers, I will have to mirror that bullshit.
I am not interested in small talk.
I am an extrovert but my introvert demands a lot of alone time and I love her for that!
I need to create and often. If I don’t I get cranky.
I need alone time. If I don’t I become a bitch on wheels.
BOUNDARIES are super important.
Successful relationships are ones that are mutually beneficial and fair. I have stepped away from all the ones where I was giving more.
I follow my turn on. I don’t bother if I am not turned on by a place, a person, an event, a function. If I do go I will just become cranky.
My anger and my bitch are there to protect me to remind me to get back into my body and out of my head. To tell me when I have self-abandoned me in order to please someone else or self-sabotaged me away from my dreams.
Next time I will be kinder to me and not leave me again.
No means NO and does not convert to yes the more you whine or beg. With my kids: I am your mom, I won’t always be popular. Suck it up.
On any request: I will tune into my body and ask Do I want to do that now with this person? (It's okay to say maybe another day).
I need variety. People and places. Sameness bores me.
Nature turns me ON. It’s not a luxury but a necessity!
My body needs to move! OFTEN.
Music makes me FEEL good!!!
I would love to hear what you have learned about yourself on your PMDD journey.