What's Special About Progesterone

Getting a late start today. It’s the last week before school starts and all is in chaos :). Today I want to write more about progesterone, since the subject came up. Again, I want to say there I nothing wrong with taking natural progesterone if your progesterone levels are low, but how are you going to know they are low without a blood serum test of your levels, taken during at least two different points in your cycle? Hormone saliva tests are notoriously inaccurate, and if you look closely, you’ll notice most companies that produce these saliva tests also conveniently produce product formulations that you can take to boost whatever their tests determine you are lacking in.

Some other day I will tell you about my experience with saliva hormone testing. Today I want to focus on progesterone and what it does for you.

Actually, it’s a good thing. Progesterone in and of itself is wonderful, and has a wonderful purpose. You know that it rises during the second half of your cycle, starting to rise just before ovulation. And as it does, it settles your mood and slows down your digestive system. That’s right. Just like progesterone smoothes out your mood, it smoothes out the muscles in your digestive tract to allow your body more time to process what you have eaten, and grab every morsel of nutrition it can from the food you eat before sending the waste on its way.

This is a big part of what causes that full, bloated feeling you get the last half of your cycle, and this is what often causes constipation during the same time frame.

Why? Because your body, in all it’s miraculous wisdom, is preparing to sustain a child. Your body doesn’t know (or care) whether you’re trying to get pregnant or not, so every month during your reproductive years it faithfully prepares to sustain a fertilized egg, whether you need it to or not. Slowing down your digestive system is just one way your body has of making sure that baby gets every ounce of nutrition it can get so that it will thrive in your womb.

When no egg is fertilized, the level of progesterone in your body drops, and this causes the buildup of tissue in your uterus to slough off because it isn’t needed, and pass out of your body via the blood you shed during your period.

Unfortunately, it also causes your mood to plummet.

But progesterone has a definite purpose. A purpose that drives women mad on the months when we are not hoping to conceive, because it makes us puff up and think we are fat. But all of that is just our body trying to hold on to the nutrients we have ingested…just in case.

Another time progesterone surges is during the first trimester of pregnancy, and that’s for the same reason. So that the baby growing inside you has the best chance your body can give it of getting all the nutrition it needs to survive.

Now, about those mood swings. During the last two weeks of your cycle, progesterone also causes your brain to at first become more relaxed and sedated, all warm and fuzzy, then gradually (and sometimes not so gradually), as the level of progesterone drops, more irritable, less focused, and a little slower. This is part of why you’re more sensitive to stress in the second half of your cycle.

Then, when no egg is fertilized and the level of progesterone in your system abruptly drops, this leaves your brain feeling somewhat shell-shocked. This is when you start snapping and screaming at your loved ones. Because your brain is feeling the effects of progesterone withdrawal, just like any addict goes through withdrawal when the source of their feel-good drug of choice is no longer available.

Our reactions to this loss of progesterone include feeling aggressive, negative, hostile, and/or even hopeless and depressed. This is when we weep at the drop of a hat, weep uncontrollably, become really obnoxious and confrontational, have panic attacks, and/or contemplate suicide.

Just like an addict.

So when we need it, progesterone is a very good thing.

When we don’t, it causes trouble.

What happens when we get too much?

Please read my previous post.

In closing, please try to be patient with yourself and understand that you really are not in control of this miraculous, yet incredibly frustrating (given our modern lifestyle) cycle that takes place inside your body each month, other than to provide your body with the best possible work and living environment and nutrition that you can--so that your body can do its job the way nature intended for it to do.

Liana's PMDD Website Finally Launched!

I’ve been working on a book about PMDD for the past year and a half. For a time I had an agent interested, but in the end, she said it was a niche book, (meaning it wouldn’t have mass market appeal) and she passed on it. One of the drawbacks, she pointed out, was that I don’t have any sets of initials behind my name, so can’t claim I’m an expert on the subject.

Funny, how living with something for forty years, day in and day out, doesn’t qualify you as an expert on the subject. But there you have it. The bottom line was I didn’t have the right credentials or a platform--also known as a ready-made audience just waiting to grab my book off the shelves.

Now, six months later, I can see why she said what she did. I’ve bought and read countless books about PMDD and women’s hormones in general, and quite frankly, the information is already out there. Some of it highly technical, some of it garbled and distorted along the way, some of it just plain off-the-wall wrong, and some of it a thinly disguised marketing ploy to sell drugs or supplements and such, but overall, the information you need to manage your PMDD is out there.

On the other hand, you can go to the loops and forums and blogs, and read heartbreaking stories of women crying out for relief from their PMDD. Women with their lives and relationships in chaos. Women considering, planning, and attempting suicide because of it.

My question was (and is) why isn’t group A, those who suffer from PMDD, connecting with Group B, those who write about it and have information that would help women to understand and manage their PMDD?

I’m all about connections, networking, and relationships, so I’ve put my book on hold and shifted my focus to create this blog and a matching website to bring the two together. The website launched this week and is very incomplete, as I’m still writing the content for it, but I wanted you to be able to finally see what I’ve been working on these past few months and where I intend to go with it.

How did this all of this come about? Well, one day in April (a few weeks after the agent rejected my book proposal) I’m walking at the Y, participating in my 100 miles in 100 days challenge, just going around in circles around the track and letting my mind wander, when all of a sudden an image of a water lily comes to me, fully formed, along with the words, Living on a Prayer, Living with PMDD.

I don’t know why that happened, or how, but when I stopped to think about it, I realized that’s what it’s like for me, living with PMDD. Some days I feel like all I’m doing is living on a prayer, getting through by the grace of God. If nothing else in the past ten years, I’ve learned nothing short of my faith is going to get me through this debilitating disorder that can and does lead other women to attempt suicide.

Anyway, I finished my walk, then went home and hit the internet, looking for pictures of water lilies. I found the perfect one three pictures in, but of course (being slightly OCD), had to keep looking to see if there were any better ones available.

There weren’t any better ones, but there were a ton of options. And so my idea began to expand. I contacted my favorite web designer, and she said to send her the pictures I’d chosen and we’d come up with something. In the end, I think we’ll use all the pictures I chose, because to me, each one represents a different facet of having PMDD.

But once that was done, all the pictures were chosen, I wanted to know…Why a water lily? I’m not really into flowers, and don’t like the water at all, especially dark, murky water, so I looked up the symbolism of water lilies.

This is what I discovered: Lotus: Water Lily: The Lotus flower is symbolic of rebirth, but in addition to its religious meaning, the lotus is also a symbol of all that is true, good and beautiful, representing good fortune, peace, and enlightenment…In modern times the meaning of a lotus flower links closely with religious symbolism and meaning. A lotus represents life in general. As the lotus flower grows up from the mud into an object of great beauty, people also grow and change into something more beautiful. So the symbol represents the struggle of life at its most basic form.

Lotus flower symbols are also popular for people who have gone through a hard time and are now coming out of it. Like the flower, they have been at the bottom in the muddy pond, but have risen above this to be an object of beauty or represent a life of beauty as the case may be.

Thus the lotus flower or blossom can also represent a hard time in life that has been (or can be) overcome.

I’d say that captures my (or any woman’s) struggle with PMDD perfectly.

Take care and God bless, and may your week be a happy one.

A Summary of What A PMDD Woman Needs to Avoid So Far...

Today I’m going to do a summary of the past few blog posts. I’ve chosen to start with sharing what NOT to do if you want to feel better as opposed to starting with what you CAN do to feel better. Why? Because even if you do the kinds of things which in a perfect world should make anyone feel better--such as eat whole foods, drink plenty of filtered water, exercise, and get plenty of rest—as long as you’re still doing the kinds of things that can make your PMDD worse all your positive efforts won’t matter. At best you’ll be canceling out the good with the bad and will still feel miserable and won’t have any idea why. You only get even more frustrated because your well-intentioned efforts to the good don’t seem to make any difference, and you might want to give up on trying, and then give up on hope.

Never give up hope. Never. This disorder can be managed, and it can be done without surgery or drugs.

You just have to be very careful about the way you live your life. You have to increase your awareness of the world around you, and you have to make conscious choices as to what to accept and what to avoid. If you don’t make your own health and wellbeing a priority, nobody else will, and that’s a fact. That much is true for anyone with any kind of condition. Nobody is going to do the hard work for you. You have to do it for yourself. PMDD is no different from any other disorder in that regard.

Fortunately, a lot of what contributes to overall health and wellbeing—and what detracts from it—is the same no matter what your condition. But in the case of a PMDD woman, since we are extra sensitive to just about everything, we need to be extra careful with what we eat, drink, and ingest.

That said, just a few of the things we need to avoid in order to feel better are listed below:

1. Chlorinated pools
2. Alcohol
3. Caffiene—this includes energy drinks as well as caffeinated coffee, tea, and cocoa
4. Chocolate—with the exception of a small piece of dark chocolate daily
5. Nicotine
6. Refined sweeteners—including sugar, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, or any processed sweetener.
7. Sugar-Free Food and Drinks—including Splenda (Sucralose)—(you know what gives Splenda that lovely granulated look that reminds you of sugar? Chlorination!)--Nutrasweet and Equal (Aspertame)
8. Prescription Drugs in General, but especially
9. Anti-Depressants
10. Birth Control Pills, Yaz in particular (see video at the bottom of the page)
and
11. Artificial Hormone Replacement Therapy
(not bio-identical hormone replacement therapy)
12. Over The Counter Drugs in General
13. NSAIDS in particular
14. Processed food—anything containing sugar, corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup in particular
15. Low Fat Everything -- just eat less instead of buying all that low-fat stuff—studies show it doesn’t work to help you lose weight anyway
16. Artificial Anything

This is impossible, you say. I can’t avoid all of that. Fine. Don’t. Keep putting stuff in your body that makes you feel rotten, then going to doctors for drugs that aren’t helping and in fact make you feel even worse. It’s your choice. All I’m here to do is make you aware that you do have other choices. They are hard choices, to be sure, and confusing choices at times, because of all of the conflicting information out there, but you know the truth. Your body tells you the truth every day. It tells you by the way you feel. Your body knows you CAN live without all these substances you’ve come to depend on to get you through your day, and you CAN feel better.

Put it this way:
What do you have to lose by giving up any or all of the things listed above?
What do you have to gain?

Think about it. Awareness is the key. I can’t say that enough. I still drink an occasional diet soda, take the occasional ibuprofen, eat the occasional piece of pie. But I do it knowing what I’m putting into my body, and knowing I will pay for it later. I make that choice consciously and as time goes on, the longer I am away from any of the substances listed above, the worse it makes me feel if I one day decide to have something I know I shouldn’t.

I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m writing this for the women who don’t even know or realize these things are a problem, and are contributing to their misery. For women who want to understand what’s wrong with them and want to find out things they personally can do to feel better.

Sometimes it’s easier to give up something (like cookies or wine or NSAIDs) than to start something new (like meditation or exercise or taking a daily nap). So pick something to give up, just one thing for now, and let me know how it goes. In time, you’ll be able to pick another, then another. But for now start slow. Doing so gives you a much better chance of success. Too much change at once will only overwhelm you until you feel deprived and cranky and throw up your hands in defeat and frustration. Been there, done that. Who hasn’t?

If you have any questions, please ask them here (in the comments section) or send me an email at info (at) livingwithpmdd.com. I will address your question either privately via email or here in general (no names mentioned) in a future blog. I want to know what you want to know about.

Have a blessed week, and if you do nothing else, simply take a moment to stop be aware of what you reach for in the course of a day.

Even MORE Things A PMDD Woman Needs to Avoid to Feel Better

I really hate to be the continued bearer of bad news, but the list gets longer each day, which for a PMDD woman, can be pretty depressing.

But these posts can also help you to realize that, no, it's not all in your head, and yes, there are tangible things in your environment that are contributing to your PMDD. Things that you DO have some control over. The keys to managing your PMDD are awareness and positive choices, so today I'll address three more things you need to avoid if you want to feel better...in addition to those I wrote about in my previous two posts. (Please scroll down and check them out if you really want to know how to manage your PMDD.)

Processed Food -- I know it’s quick and handy and supposedly does the job of fueling your body, but by eating processed foods are you using the right grade of fuel for optimum health and well being?

NO.

The more naturally we eat, the better. We need to aim for foods that are as close as possible to their natural source. This means fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, lean meat protein, fish, eggs, whole grains, and some dairy. The same foods the general population needs to eat to feel better, but they are particularly helpful to a woman suffering from PMDD. Because PMDD women are extra-sensitive to everything we come in contact with, and everything that goes into our bodies.

One note of warning: Beware of the feel-good term whole grain. Read your food labels carefully. Just because the package says whole grain or whole grains on it does not mean what's inside is inherently good for us. Take for example fruit cereal bars, which make sure we know about the fruit and whole grain content in the bar, but neglect to mention the other things they contain, like corn syrup and other sweeteners and all sorts of big-word ingredients that are hard to pronounce.

When in doubt, the rule of thumb is: The fewer the ingredients listed on the package, the better the food inside that package is for you.

Low Fat Everything -- Fat in and of itself is not bad for you. It’s the quantity of fat consumed that can be problematic. Studies show that people who consume low-fat items tend to eat more of those items, which in the end causes them to consume more calories than they would have consumed had they eaten the regular item to start with

If only we’d all slow down, not eat so fast, let the original amount of (healthy) fat in food do its job and make us feel fulfilled.

So if you think you’re saving calories by eating low-fat ice cream or cheese or yogurt or snacks or cookies (not to mention a PMDD woman should avoid as much sugar as possible), think again.

Artificial Sweeteners – This is a biggie, and ranks right up there with low-fat items. Artificial anything is no good for a woman with PMDD, but artificial sweeteners are hell on a woman’s hormone system. You can either take it from me, who’s done the research for you, check out one of my favorite sites for women’s health issues in general, or check out these blogs on written specifically on the toxic effects of:

NutraSweet,
also known as
Aspertame,

and
Splenda

Splenda is also called sucralose, which is made by chlorinating sugar. Chlorine is another substance a PMDD woman needs to be careful to avoid, as it can wreak all kinds of havoc on your hormones, whether you soak in it or ingest it.

Here is one article on Splenda I particularly recommend:

You’ll have to decide how technical you want to get, so here are some more sites to choose from on the dangers of artificial sweeteners:

I’m not telling you what to do. Well, I am if you truly want to feel better, 100% of the time. If you want to feel better only part of the time, keep on drinking those diet sodas and eating those low-fat cookies, and eating those processed cereal bars for breakfast and snacks instead of some healthy oatmeal, or whole grain toast with no-sugar added jam. It’s up to you.

As someone has remarked, if you are what you eat, it seems the average consumer consists mostly of thickener, water, salt, and sugar. ~ Harvey Blatt, 'America's Food' (2008)

You are what you eat. Think about it. It’s not just a quote, or a quaint saying. It’s a warning. And one we’d all do well to take heed of, but those of us who suffer from PMDD especially.

But I never point out a problem without offering a solution as well. Here’s one place to find out exactly what you need to eat to have not only a healthy diet, but balanced hormones, and relief from your PMDD. When the article says eat less fat, it doesn’t mean eat low-fat and no-fat foods. It means just that….curb your intake of high fat foods. Cut down on portions. Don’t substitute fake food for the healthy fat you need.

Nobody says you have to give up all of these substances you have unwittingly incorporated into your diet on the same day, or all at the same time. Try it in stages. This week cut down on your diet soda consumption, next week (or month) try eating a healthier breakfast. Use some stevia to sweeten your food instead of sugar or Splenda. Next time you shop, buy regular cheese instead of low-fat. Try regular yogurt instead of low-fat, no-fat, or that overly sweet fruit on the bottom stuff. Change your refrigerator and your diet over slowly, one item at a time. In a few months, or even weeks, depending on how many changes you make, you’ll notice a substantial difference in the way your cupboards look, and the way you feel.

You are in charge of what you put into your body, and you alone.

Isn’t eating healthier worth feeling better?

More Things That Make Your PMDD Worse

Hi, I can’t believe another week has gone by. A few weeks ago my original intention was to write a post about things to do help manage your PMDD, but there are still a lot of things out there we need to avoid to keep it from getting worse. It won’t do us any good to drink, eat and do the right things as long as we are still eating, drinking and doing the things that make it worse. At best, we’ll only be self-defeating our good intentions. True balance can’t be achieved by coming at this disorder hit or miss.

I’ve been scanning the PMDD loops and forums, and there are so many women out there crying out for help. As I read the posts, I can pinpoint some things they are doing to make their PMDD worse, without even realizing it. Nobody intentionally wants to make themselves feel badly, especially a PMDD woman. We know—even if at times it seems only like a distant memory—what it feels like to feel good, and we want to feel that way all the time.

As I said last week, the information is out there. The problem is it’s scattered all over the place, and some of it isn’t quite true. Some of it is slanted toward getting us to purchase products in which the author of that information has a financial interest. In the interests of my research I’ve bought several books and tapes and products designed to make me feel better, even “cure” my PMDD. Most have failed, because the information they are based upon is faulty to start with.

For instance, there is one doctor who insists over and over again in his literature that PMDD is caused by using birth control pills and hormone replacement therapy. If that is the case, I shouldn’t have it, because I’ve never used either. But a vast majority of women have used one or the other, and so by claiming that they cause PMDD, he is guaranteed to have a wide range of women wondering if that is the cause of their PMDD and flocking to buy his products. Instant consumer base.

Based on the scientific information I have read, in particular the information produced in the past five years—information which is not referred to at all in this doctor’s literature--it’s clear that birth control pills and hormone replacement therapies worsen your PMDD, but do not cause it. The studies I have read indicate that overall there is some relief in the initial months when using these methods to treat your symptoms of PMDD—and that is all you can do with these methods—treat the symptoms—because neither of these treatment methods address the underlying cause of PMDD.

But after a certain period of time—usually several months—both clinical studies and anecdotal stories show that birth control pills and hormone replacement therapies make your PMDD worse. And if that’s not enough misery for you, when you stop taking these drugs for your PMDD, your PMDD worsens even more. Because your body has to do all that additional work to recover from the damage that was done to your hormonal balance through using these methods of treatment. The bottom line is you end up feeling worse than you did before you started these treatments.

Realize now that the failure was not yours. The failure was in the treatment, which is at best a one-size fits all treatment for what is a highly individualized disorder.

I have not used bio-identical hormone replacement treatment, so can not address that subject here. At this point I’m still on the fence about that. I have been able to manage my PMDD symptoms through rest, diet, nutritional supplements, and exercise. I still have episodes, but they are mild compared to what they once were, and more than manageable. I would like to make them go away completely, and in the interests of doing so (and research!) hope to try bio-identical hormone replacement therapy in time, but have yet to find a doctor in my local area who will prescribe them. So for now I muddle along, but again, my symptoms are mild and more than manageable.

Two other things that make your PMDD worse are:

Any prescribed drug, including anti-depressants (more on this in a future post).
Any over the counter drug, including NSAIDs, or non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs—that’s right—ibuprofen. That wonderful substance that does wonders for our cramps and sore joints only adds to our PMDD burden.

I’m not saying to never take drugs again. There are genuine disorders, diseases, and conditions that can not be managed any other way. I’m saying you need to be aware that these things make your PMDD worse, and that it’s not just you and you’re not crazy.

For instance when you reach for that bottle of ibuprofen, you need to reach for it knowing you’re making a trade off…relief from your cramps now, or relief from your PMDD later.

Just knowing this makes me pause, and decide whether my cramps and aches are really bad enough for me to need that ibuprofen. Or do I really just need some rest and relaxation to give my body the time it needs to deal with the inflammation on its own?

Dealing with PMDD is more about awareness than anything else. It’s making ourselves aware of what our body is trying to tell us. For example, we need magnesium—chocolate craving—we need carbs—to boost the level of serotonin in our brain—we need sleep—to allow our brains can naturally re-regulate themselves.

Our bodies are designed to heal themselves naturally, given the right nutrients and rest. In our busy society, more often than not, we don’t have the time to stop and listen to what our bodies are telling us. We’ve been conditioned to carry on, no matter what, and consume whatever pill, food, or drink is handy to get us through. Recently I heard an ad on the radio for some kind of product you can puff into your mouth that brings you up to five more hours of energy. It has some nutrients in it to make it sound healthy, but it also has a heavy dose of caffeine—which cancels out any questionable benefits of the nutrients added. Never mind that a PMDD woman needs to avoid caffeine like the plague.

This company promotes their product as something you can take in the afternoon to get you through the rest of the day. So you can be even more productive than you already are. It’s touted as a good thing. Something to make you virtually indefatigable. In our case, a superwoman.

But if you’re tired, your body is telling you that you need rest, not that you need something to override your body’s natural warning system that you’re heading for a breakdown.

So sure, if you use this product--or any of the countless ones just like it you can find next to cash registers at any number of stores--you get the added boost for that particular afternoon. But what about the damage you are doing to your body, which is already screaming for relief? What about the price you will pay with a whopper of a PMDD episode down the line?

Is it really worth it? Or don’t you deserve any better?

(Just A Few) Things that Make Your PMDD Worse

Okay, I know I promised a post on ways to regain your hormonal balance this week, but first we have to talk about the kind of things that can throw you out of balance. Because everything you do to put yourself back in balance won’t matter one bit if you keep doing things that send your hormones out of balance. One thing will cancel out the other and you’ll be going nowhere fast.

That’s where I feel like I am right now. I haven’t been right since I spent several days in the whirlpool at the Y, trying to loosen up a bad shoulder. The bad shoulder was caused by driving too rigidly for several hours while under a lot of stress. You know how the best way to drive is calm and relaxed (and NOT on the phone), aware of your surroundings and what’s coming your way. Well, I was driving to a strange place, meeting strange people, had to be there at a specific time, didn’t know how much farther it would be, got caught in road construction, and had a lot on my mind. Not ideal conditions for driving, especially for a PMDD woman. Stress sets us off like nothing else can.

So my neck and shoulder locked up, aggravating an old rotator cuff/pinched nerve injury, and because the pain was so intense, I sought the comfort of the whirlpool.

Big mistake, and a heavy price to pay for 20 minutes a day of sheer bliss. Two months later, and I’m still paying that price.

Most of us don’t realize our skin works like a bodily organ, much like our kidney, liver, or a lung. Skin absorbs things in the water or air, like toxins and pollution, the same way it absorbs lotion. Skin also releases toxins we absorb, inhale, or ingest, through sweat.

I knew this could happen, but the pain was so intense I didn’t care. I couldn’t type, couldn’t read, couldn’t do any of my favorite things. So I opted for denial and took a chance.

Next thing I know, I’m sitting in a tub full of toxins—specifically an overchlorinated whirlpool, overchlorinated because God knows who is using the whirlpool or what germs they might carry—just to get a little relief from my pain. I only did it for four or five days, just long enough to help the pain subside, but--between that and my new stress over not being able to read or write or spend any time worth mentioning at the computer--it was more than enough to mess up my hormonal balance.

So, number one: Chlorinated pools are no good for women with hormonal imbalances. I mention this specifically today because it’s summer here, and what do people do to escape the heat in the summer? Head for the nearest pool.

But think about this…you know what chlorine does to your hair. You know how itchy it makes your skin feel. You know how sticky you feel after you get out of the pool and dry off. How you smell of chlorine until you take a soap shower. Did you know you shouldn’t wear gold into a pool because the chlorine will weaken it, eventually causing it to crumble? Ask your favorite jeweler. I had the tines on a ring completely dissolve after a few trips to the whirlpool. I had to have the tines on the ring recrafted, and the jeweler said absolutely…keep all gold out of the pool.

So, if you still believe none of that chlorine is soaking into your body, then check out this link that discusses swimming and chlorine toxicity.

Children are most at risk, but so are women’s hormonal balances. Not to get too far off topic, but fish have died from just the chlorine in tap water.

So tap water is also a concern for women with PMDD. (Drinking distilled water is best.)

Other things a woman with PMDD needs to avoid are (and I know this will have you shaking your head and saying no way, forget it, like I did for too many years to count, but if you want to stop feeling miserable, this is what you have to do):

Alcohol : Alcohol provides a temporary false relief, which only worsens the symptoms of PMDD.

Caffeine: Caffeine stimulates the nervous system, but worsens the symptoms of PMDD.

Chocolate: Women who suffer from PMDD crave chocolate. Pure, dark chocolate is rich in magnesium and eicosanoids, which our bodies need. Unfortunately, most chocolate is also laden with fat and sugar, which worsens the symptoms of PMDD. Dark chocolate, with 70% or more cocoa in it, is the best kind to eat for your hormonal needs. Not the kind with nougats or creme filling or caramel in it. Those only offer even more sugar and fat.

Oh, and never drink milk with your chocolate, or it cancels out the antioxidant benefits obtained.
(So much for milk and brownies...)

Nicotine: Nicotine stimulates the nervous system, but worsens the symptoms of PMDD. Unfortunately women with PMDD are especially prone to nicotine addiction, which makes it a vicious cycle.

Refined Sweeteners: Sugar, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, or any processed sweetener worsens the symptoms of PMDD--and yet the brain craves sugar, needs it to survive. So we can't get away from eating sugar altogether, but we can choose to eat healthy sources of sugar—fruits, vegetables, whole grains--over refined sources, so that our brain gets the kind of sugar it needs to work properly, while the rest of our body doesn't suffer from the effects of too many sweets, such as obesity and diabetes.

Sugar-Free Food and Drinks: Sorry, ladies, but sugar substitutes only worsen the symptoms of PMDD and we need to avoid them altogether.

Doesn’t leave us with anything fun to eat or drink, does it?

That’s not to say you can never have an ice cream cone again, or a glass of wine, or a diet soda, or anything made with chocolate. (In fact, here’s a blog dedicated to the health benefits of dark chocolate, so that you don’t feel totally deprived.) But while your hormones are out of balance--and you will know they are out of balance by the way you feel—it’s best to avoid these things until you are back in balance, and your body is better able to handle the occasional jolt to your hormones caused by one of these substances.

Until next week...Good Luck!

Snapping Out with PMDD

Here’s but one small example of how PMDD can affect your life and or relationships. A few weeks ago, my teenage son mentioned a wildly popular movie he’d seen over the weekend, and asked if I wanted to watch it with him. I love watching movies, and love spending time with my son, and was thrilled that he’d thought enough of the movie (and me) to ask so even though I had already seen the movie years before and didn’t particularly care for it, I said, “Sure, honey, we can watch it this weekend.”

For the past twelve years, we’ve enjoyed Movie Night every Sunday evening, as a way to settle in and prepare for the week to come. So he got the movie, and brought it home. A few days later, movie in hand, he asks, “Do you want to watch the movie now?”

And I snapped out on him and told him in no uncertain terms that I did not.

I don’t recall doing it. This is not me. I mean, I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine and Theodore the Tugboat videos over and over and over again. I’ve seen most Disney animated videos at least twice, some several times. For a couple of years, I stopped what I was doing every afternoon to watch the Power Rangers.

I have watched a LOT of shows and movies I might not have felt like watching, but did so because they were age appropriate at the time.

But apparently I changed my mind this time, and I don’t even remember doing so.

A few weeks later, I innocently mentioned to my son in passing that we hadn’t watched the movie yet, and he looked at me and said, “That’s because you said, `I don’t see why I should have to sit through a movie I don’t even like just because you want me to watch it.'"

“I did?” I asked, feeling totally embarrassed. “When did I do that?” “A few days after I first asked you about it and you said it would be okay.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t remember doing that. What did you say or do when I did that?” He shrugged and said, “I just figured it was one of your PMDD days and left it alone.”

I’m glad he knew it wasn’t him that caused my snappishness, but still…

“Where’s the movie now?” I asked.

“In my room,” he says.

“You want to watch it?”

He did. We did. It was better than I remembered, but I also remembered why I didn’t like it, as it contained some subject matter I find unpleasant. In addition to that, it had a sad ending.

“You asked me to watch a movie that would make me cry?” I teasingly accused him afterwards, still sniffling.

But he was sniffling, too. It was a good movie, a good moment, and sparked a good conversation about life and death.

And I would have missed that chance to have that conversation with him because of my PMDD.

I try not to look back, but I wonder how many other opportunities like that were missed because of something sharp I said when I didn’t mean to. Worse yet, I wonder how many times I hurt someone’s feelings by snapping out and don’t even remember it.

Because that’s part of PMDD. You get irritable, you snap at people, and don’t even realize you’re doing it. You think you’re behaving normally, until something ugly happens, or someone who feels close enough to you or comfortable enough with you gently points out you may be having an episode. (Which nine times out of ten you will vehemently deny until you realize they are right.)

Or, before either you or they are aware that you have PMDD, they may be less gentle or understanding, and may simply shout, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

You don’t know, they don’t know, and the relationship starts to strain at the seams. If you don’t get help, unless your friend or partner is a total saint or a doormat, the relationship falls apart.

Sound familiar?

Well, take heart in knowing it takes two to make a relationship work and it takes two to bring one to an end. It isn’t and wasn’t completely your fault. When you’re having an episode of PMDD, certain factors are out of your control.

That’s an explanation, not an excuse. (You’ll hear me say this over and over and over again, so get used to it.) You still need to go back and make amends if you’ve hurt someone you care about while your brain was not firing properly. You don’t need to beat yourself up over it. Your rage and irritability and emotional outbursts during an episode of PMDD are as uncontrollable as an allergic reaction. That doesn’t make them or the consequences from them any less painful, but neither does it mean you have to drown yourself in guilt afterward. You simply apologize and do what you can to make up for it.

If your loved ones really love you, they will understand and accept that there are times when you just aren’t yourself.

If you really love them, you’ll do everything in your power to see that those episodes are few and far between.

Tips and hints on how to do that can be found in this blog*, and in my books, PMDD and Relationships, and PMDD: A Handbook for Partners.  Also, if you use Amazon Smile, you can choose the Gia Allemand Foundation and they will receive a donation from Amazon.  Win-Win!

*Use the search box at the top of the page to locate topics you are interested in reading more about.  Type in the subject, and if I have written anything about it, a list of posts will appear.  This will save you a lot of time spent scrolling past stuff you're not interested in.